I am the teller of tales, the spinner of stories **Version 6**.

Title: Songs of the Heart
Author: Cassie Valentine
Fandom: Star Trek: Enterprise
Paring: Trip/Hoshi
Feedback: Yes please
*****

***
I'll Be Okay
***

I'll be okay. That's what I told him when Enterprise finished her first mission. He had announced that he wasn't going to be back, having had enough of the space adventure and wanting to try something new, a family. Everybody said the same thing; we'll miss you, you're welcome back any time and have fun, Trip.

We spent our last night together drinking far too much and having far too much fun. T'Pol stopped by a couple of times to try and get Archer to look over some last minute things but gave up when he told her she'd have to drink if she wanted that PADD looked at. We laughed as she raised an eyebrow and turned on her heel before leaving.

"I'll miss ya, Hosh," he told me the next morning, both of us whispering in the dark to try and keep the pounding in our heads to a minimum.

"You don't have to leave. Starfleet's already looking into the fraternization rule, you might find some body on the ship," I said.

"Nah," he said. "I been hangin' 'roud y'all too long. It jest feels kinda weird to think about somethin' like that," he said.

I was surprised to feel like I had swallowed a lead weight when he said that.

"Oh," I said lamely. "Well, I guess all I can say is that I hope you find the right girl, Trip." He smiled as we stopped out side the shuttle bay.

"Maybe you should come down fer a bit, mill around," he suggested. "I'll take ya home and introduce ya to momma, take ya around town. You might find the right guy."

I smiled.

"It's okay," I said. "I, uh, I guess you should go," I said as I saw the last of the preflight crews move away from the shuttle.

"Oh. I guess yer right," he said. He dropped his bags and gave me a hug. "I'll really miss ya, I mean it. You gonna be okay?" he asked one last time.

"I'll be okay," I told him. "Go," I shooed him away.

He climbed on the shuttle with one last wave and I wandered off, still feeling like I had swallowed a led weight. I sighed as I wandered, ending up in the mess deck just in time to watch his shuttle fly off and it hit me.

I had fallen in love with him some where along the line and now I had lost him forever. I had a feeling that I wouldn't be okay as I had told him I would, but fate has a way of changing, when you don't want it to and there's not a whole lot you can do about it. Until love comes again, I'll be okay.

*****
All That Jazz
***

Leavin' her was the worst thing I coulda done. Sure, I believed what I told her at the time, but after a while I realized that none of the girls I hooked up with were her.

They were all too tall or too pale or didn't smile right. Didn't really matter what they did, they weren't Hoshi and they never would be. It's really too bad it took me six months to figure this out.

There was always part of me that was goin' stir crazy without that engine to tinker with, but now my whole body is stir crazy 'cause she isn't here, no little laughs, paranoid fears to poke fun at later on, nothin'. Just me and momma and my sister when she pops over.

"Back again Charlie?" Susie asks from behind the bar. I just shoot her a smile. "I heard they're docking in a week."

"Who's dockin'?" I ask her as I take the beer from her.

"Enterprise," she replies casually as she leans on the bar top.

"New engineer couldn't keep things together or something. Like I said, I heard."

I felt the heat rise in my face. Some one was mistreating my engines to the point where they had to send Enterprise back to space dock.

That thought quickly flew out of my head and was replaced with 'Hoshi's coming home'.

"A week ya say?" I ask.

"What I heard, Charlie," she says. "Don't let her go this time, I'm losing customers 'cause they don't meet your standards."

How the hell does she know about Hoshi? Doesn't matter, I guess, Susie has always known these things about everybody that comes in here. I finish the beer quickly and drop some credit on the bar for her with a note scribbled on a napkin to let me know if she hears when they do dock, though I have a feelin' it'll be all over the news anyways.

I take the long way home, partly to help clear my head and also to work up a plan. Don't want to look desperate, but don't want to be too cool, either.

Of course, we're not gonna be able to just pick up where we left off . . . Hmmmm . . . Lot of variables here . . . . I think I'm gonna have to sleep on this one. Maybe for a few nights.

***

So, here they are, back on Earth and I have yet to track her down. Jon got to me first, then Malcolm and now Starfleet's tyin' up my phone lines trying to get me to come back.

"Momma, I'm not home unless she calls," I say as I walk past the comm system that was goin' off again. She sighs and rolls her eyes as she wipes her flour-covered hands off on her apron before answering it.

"Well, speak o' the devil," she says as she stands up and goes back to the counter. I gulp a little, the snack I was workin' on forgotten on the counter.

"Hey, long time to see," I tell her as I slide into the chair.

"So, did you really leave to find a girl or because you hated me?" she asks with a smile.

"Sorry. Jon, Malcolm and Starfleet kinda got to me before I could get to a comm system," I said. "So how ya been?" I ask. This is nice, maybe we can just go back to the way things were. Nice and friendly, lots of jokes.

"Hey, you wanna have dinner? I'm in Florida another couple of nights until I fly home to my parents' place," she says.

"I'd love to. Name the time and place." She does. Bob's at 7 tonight. Bob's is a nice little Greek place not far from where I am.

"Don't loose 'er this time darlin'. I'd like to at least know there are some grandkids coming from you before I die," Momma says after we're done making plans.

"Sure thing momma," I shoot back as I head back to the snack I had started earlier.
***
"Mr. Tucker, you're looking very spiffy," she says as we meet later that night. I smile a little as I take her in.

"Not to shabby yerself darlin'," I tell her as I offer an arm like every good gentleman should. She takes it with a smile and we start to catch up again.

A large meal and several glasses of ouzo later, we decided to head off somewhere else. Well, that and the fact that Bob wanted to close up and we were the only ones left in the restaurant.

"How about here?" she asks as we stop in front of this club with jazz music blarin' and trumpets wailing.

"You sure?" I ask. Never would have guessed she'd pick a place like this.

"Come on," she said with a smile that lights up her face as she takes my hand and starts to pull me towards the door. I laugh and follow her in.

"Ladies and gentlemen, a real classic to get the blood flowin'," a man said up on the stage just after we got in. "So wear your stockings down and all that jazz," he finishes as the band starts.

Now I remember hearin' this song when I was a kid while Kathryn was goin' through her Broadway music stage. She played this song everyday, all the time for about three days straight, and apparently I still knew all the words 'cause they just kinda came tumblin' out when it started.

Hoshi starts to laugh at me when I start talking about "Rouging my knees" and "Wearing my stockings down". I thought she was gonna cry when I get to the part about "Shimmy til her garters break" and "Show her where to park her girdle".

By the time we left, we were both a little drunker, a little sweatier and a lot more comfortable with each other. We decided it would be best for her just to stay at my place for the night and I'd get her home in the morning.

"How far are we from the ocean?" she asks. Her and the damned sense of hearing.

"Couple of miles I guess. Why?"

"Let's go," she answers as she drags me off again. She makes me wade in the water with her when we get there and I drag her out when she just about makes us both fall in.

"Come on, we're too drunk to do this," I answer with a laugh as I help her get her balance again. She laughs and follows me out and this time we do fall to the ground. We lay on our backs for a moment, catchin' our breath and she laughs a little longer.

"I haven't done this in a while," she smiles as she turns to look at me.

"What? Roll around drunk on a beach with a very attractive man?"

She laughs again.

"Well, with the attractive man at least."

Then she gets serious for a moment.

"I thought you would have had a girl by now." I shrug.

"Didn't find the right one," I answer. "They weren't you." Woops. Didn't mean for that to slip out just yet.

"But you said. . .Before you left. . . " she gets out, surprised by what I said.

"And I believed it at the time, I swear to ya I did, but now . . . I dunno. They weren't you," I say again.

She stays quiet and I watch her eyes dart around my face and other things. She got up and I fear the worst before she straddles my waist and sits down.

"Good," she purrs as she leans down and kisses me. My eyes go wide for a moment. This definitely isn't the Hoshi I left behind. Then again, I also left behind a sober Hoshi who was still in uniform.

"Wow," was all I get out when she pulls back.

"Damn right, wow. I've been saving that since about 5 minutes after you left," she admits with a smile. "Starfleet did relax the fraternization rule," she whispers.

"They've been callin' all week," I admit.

"You should see what they want."

"They want me. I'm hot stuff," I say with a smile as I ran my hands over her hips.

"You're tellin' me," she said with a little smile and a laugh as she kisses me again. This time I was ready for it and things heated up quickly.

"Uh, maybe we should head home," I remembered how hard it is to get sand out of the neither regions.

"I dunno, I kinda like it here," she whispers. I groan in response.

"You can stay there as long as you like as long as I'm layin' on a bed," I bargain. She gets up and I follow.

"Come on," she giggles. "I'll rouge my knees and wear my stockings down."

"And all that jazz?"

"And ALL that jazz," she repeats as she grabs my hand and pulls me along.

*****
Unwanted
***

He's ignoring me again. I don't seem to exist anymore whenever we walk into a room with pretty alien babes in it.

It's times like this I wish I never convinced him to come back. I should have left him to rot on Earth and never looked back.

When we first got together, I was all he could ever see. The first thing he'd look for was me so he could come over. But now, I'm just some accessory that he hangs on his arm until something prettier and shinier comes along.

Here I am, though, standing up straight with a smile on my face as he flashes that smile at some other woman. My smile.

"Trip?" I say quietly. Once again, I'm ignored. Whatever, I figure as I slip my arm from his and walk away. I doubt he even notices.

"Where are you off to?" Malcolm asks as he stops me. At least some one knows I'm still here.

"Out side. Want to come?" I ask as I look up at him. He glances around the room for a moment, probably checking to see if the captain is keeping an eye on him.

"Let's go," he says as he places his hand lightly on the small of my back.

"Any reason you abandoned Commander Tucker in there?" he asks once we're outside and find a place to sit down. I laugh a little.

"He abandoned me in there a long time ago," I say as I look out over the alien coastline. Malcolm stays quiet and follows my gaze.

"We used to talk all the time at things like this. Everyone and everything else was just a formality. Be nice to the aliens, we might need them some day, and now . . ."

"And now?" he asks as he looks at me.

"I don't know, it's like I'm there to talk to him in case there's no hot babe for him to talk to."

Malcolm snorts a little at that comment.

"Trust me Hoshi, he still thinks you're a hot babe."

"Could have fooled me," I mutter. "He doesn't even know I'm gone."

"Hoshi, I'm sure . ."

"Take a look!" I say, raising my voice a little. "Take a look at him, in there flirting with Miss Taller-and-more-interesting-than-plain-Hoshi."

My voice turns into a whisper as I turn from the party to look out at the ocean again. I hear fabric rustling and assume that Malcolm is looking at Trip and his latest babe.

Instead, I find him on his knees in front of me.

"He's fool," I hear him say as he takes my hands in his. "He doesn't seem to see what he's at risk of losing."

"Malcolm . . ." I start, no idea where he's really going with this.

"Just remember you'll never be unwanted," he says as he kisses the back of my hands. I swallow as my mind takes what he said into consideration and wonders what exactly he means by that.

He looks at me for a moment longer before standing.

"Do you want to go back to the ship? I'm sure the captain would allow me to escort you. . . " I look from Malcolm and back into the ball room. Trip is still laughing and talking with that alien. What was her name again? Seirreb? Still hasn't even noticed I'm gone.

"Yeah, let's go," I told him softly as I turn back to the ocean for a moment.
***
I dry my hair slowly as I come out of the shower. The dress and heels are long gone in exchange for a pair of pants and a tank top.

Malcolm is off puttering around in the armoury for all I know. I know he hates formal events like that. I kick some of Trip's stuff into an out of the way corner and stare at it. I like a clean floor. Nuts to anything and everything else, but I have to have a clean floor.

Normally, I pick it up and put it away, but I'm not going to. I'm gonna leave it there and ignore it. I give it one more kick for good measure then I throw the towel in the bathroom before sitting on the couch and reading for a while. I'm still up when he gets home.

"Hey," is all he says as he loosens his tie and kicks off his shoes before heading to change. I'm not surprised by this, it's the way he's always been; get out of the dress clothes then be more social. Only instead he heads to the shower then to his desk.

"Did you have fun?" I ask.

"Yep." he says, offering nothing more.

"Whom did you talk to?"

"Lots of people," he says.

"Did they have names?" I ask again. I watch as he looks up at me.

"I can't really talk now Hoshi, I gotta catch up on this," he says as he goes back to his PADD.

"The Captain doesn't want it until Thursday," I say.

"Look, can'tcha understand that I want to do this and not talk right now?" he asks, a little more anger in his voice then he really needed. That was the straw that broke this camel's back.

"No, commander. I just can't understand why you don't want to talk to me, but some PADD is more interesting than I am, or that you don't seem to want me anymore than you want a physical from Phlox," I say, all the disappointments and anger coming to the surface.

"I'm sorry I seem to cramp your style now! It hurts that I'm so unwanted for nothing, for no reason!" I yell. "Go a head and finish that up if it's so damned important, I won't bother you any more!"

Someone bangs on the wall on the other side.

"You bugger off too!" I yell at them as I turn leave his quarters, heading for my own. I hear him call to me as I leave but I ignore him.

If he doesn't want me, then I don't want him.

*****
Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda
***

"Hoshi!" I call as I watch her storm out. I sit back down in my chair for a moment and think about the last few days, then the last few weeks.

I really did it this time and I shoulda seen it. Truthfully, I'm not quite sure how this happened. I mean, things were goin' fine, great even. It made me wonder why the cap'n even bothered to give us separate quarters.

And then somewhere along the line we, no I, stopped talkin'. Hell, I stopped everything but the entire nights of lovin'.

"Way to go Trip," I mutter to myself as I burry my head in my hands for a minute. I don't deserve to let myself wallow in my own stupidity, but let myself do just that for a bit.

Then as I get up and head to the door I stop, thinkin' that I should maybe let her cool off. then I think that waitin' and ignoring is what got me into this mess. I take a breath and head off toward her quarters.

"Commander!"

"Not now Malcolm," I say as I keep going. I'm on a mission now and nothin' but a warp core overload is gonna stop me.

"Yes now!" he says as he comes to a stop in front of me.

"I'm busy lieutenant," I say as I push him and go on my way again.

"She's not in her quarters," he calls to me as he pushes himself away from the wall.

"And how the hell would you know that?" I ask as I stop and turn to look at him.

"She's in mine." I feel the jealousy and anger starting to boil up.

"What the hell is she doin' in yer quarters?" I ask as I storm over to him.

"She needed some one to talk to and seeing as how I'm the one who gave her a shoulder at the party, she came to me again," he says as we stand nose-to-nose.

"We're not done yet," I say to him.

"She seems like she'd be very happy to end it now," he says, looking like a smug bastard.

"Why you . . ." I say as I get ready to hit him, hard, but then stop myself. The last thing I need to do is start a fight with Malcolm over Hoshi. Instead I push him into the wall before glaring at him and heading on my way. I pick up the pace to get to the lift before him.

I stop at the door to Reed's quarters and press my ear up against the door and my heart breaks at the loud sobs that I caused. I take a breath and ring the chime. Nothing happens.

"Hoshi?" I call. She yells something that sounds like 'go away, asshole' and I gulp a little.

"Please, Hoshi, I . . .I'd rather not do this from out here, but I will if ya want me to."

The door stays closed, but there¹s a large thump that makes it rattle against my forehead. She's throwin' things. That's never a good sign.

"Hosh, I know I shoulda paid more attention to ya and that I've taken you for granted. I know I coulda been a better man. We both woulda been better off I hadn't been such an asshole about everything. I'm sorry I didn't see it before and I'm sorry I put you through this . . ."

I trailed off as I continue to rest my forehead against the door, trying to think of something else to say. "I'm sorry," I say again.

I turn a little and see Malcolm coming toward me. "Please Hoshi, I'm so sorry," I say one last time as I push away from the door and look at Malcolm.

"Take good care of her, will ya?" I ask.

He stops and crosses his arms as he glares at me.

"I'm goin'," I said as I stuff my hands in my pockets and slink off to the lift like the dog I am.

When I get back to my place, I look around and realize that the floor isn't clean. My uniform and junk from getting ready for this party are still on the floor, some tools and PADDs still scattered around the coffee table.

It really hits home now that I may have lost her forever, and to Malcolm of all people. My friend.

She might not come back to me. No more Hoshi. No more Hoshi quirks. No more Hoshi glares. No more Hoshi kisses. Oh yeah, Tucker, you really did it this time.

*****
Complicated
***

"Why did they have to go and make things so complicated?" I complain to Liz as I pace the length of her quarters. "I mean, no, I wasn't just going to run back into Trips arms."

"Good girl," she says with a yawn.

"I was gonna make him suffer."

"Even better!"

"And then Malcolm . . ."

"Wait, what about Mr. Boom?" she asks as she looks up at me.

"You weren't listening, were you?" I ask as I stop to look at her.

"Sure I was, just not very attentively," she admits with a bit of a shrug.

"He made a move," I say as I come over to sit on the couch with her.

"How big of a move?" she asks as she becomes as alert as someone who was pulled out of bed at 1 am without coffee can be.

"By Reed standards, a big one," I tell her. "He was all sweet and caring and then he turned into a jerk and kissed me. I mean, did he think I was just going to jump into his arms crying 'my hero!'?"

She sits back and ponders this for a moment before getting up and heading into her room.

"You're going to have to leave Hoshi," she tells me as she comes out, fully dressed.

"Why?" I ask. "Oh, don't go and torture the poor man Liz!" I say. She's had her eye on Malcolm since forever.

"But he's all emotionally vulnerable and cute!" she whines.

I role my eyes and she stomps back over to the couch. "I hate you right now, you know that, right?"

"Yeah, yeah," I say. She sighs.

"Look, either go to him or go home, that's about all you have left to do. You cried on Malcolm's shoulder and look what that got you."

"Yeah, and I cried on yours and you want to ditch me to go and console the enemy!" I say as I give her a shove.

"Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on," she says, ignoring the fact that the two shoulders I went to cry out did me no good. I sigh and roll my eyes.

"Fine, I'm leaving. Fat lot of good you are," I tell her as I leave.

"You're welcome Hoshi," she calls after me. I just shake my head and head back to my quarters.

"What the?" I ask as I get back to my quarters and things have all been cleaned and there are daisies and buttercups sitting in cups and vases and just laying around. I hear a loud thump and some cursing.

"Trip?" I ask as I look around the corner into my room.

"Hey Darlin'," he says kind of sheepishly as he rubs his head.

"What's all this?" I ask as I stand in the doorway.

"You always said they were yer favorites," he explains as he comes over to me and holds out some flowers. I smile a little as I take them.

"I really am sorry Hoshi. I don't know why I was such a fool and . ." I cut him off and put him out of his misery.

"I like you Trip. I like this Trip, the one who puts his heart on his sleeve when he needs to and will swallow his pride and who will talk to me one on one. But you become somebody else around every one else and I don't like that."

I watch as he bows his head down so he doesn't have to look me in the eye. I reach out and make him look at me. "Look at me," I say. "You make me look like a fool when you do things like that, like I'm some trophy on your arm."

"I'm sorry Hoshi. I don't know how many times you want me to say it or how you want me to say it," he says, becoming frustrated with me.

I let him go and step away and we stare at each other for a moment.

"I should go," he says as he brushes past me, dropping the rest of the flowers on a table as he leaves without looking back.

"Trip!" I call, knowing that this time, I'm the one who screwed things up.

He keeps right on going and I feel my knees go week as I slide to the floor.

I look in the mirror in the bedroom and notice that he had just about finished in there and had taken the most time and care in arranging the flowers there and I feel the tears start to rise again.

"Dammit!" I say to myself as I drop my head into my hands for a moment before catching my reflection in the mirror.

"Why'd you hafta go and make things so complicated?" I ask myself as I look away from the mirror and around my quarters once more before wallowing in my own helplessness and misery.

*****
One Week
***

It's been one week since she looked at me, cocked her head to the side and said, "I'm angry".

It's also been one week since I apologized, she didn't take it well and I stormed off.

I never realized how much color and excitement she brings into things. The walls are so drab and grey now that we're not talkin' to each other.

I think every one on the ship feels it too. The bridge is always quiet and tense when we're up there together. Jon's talked, or tried to talk to me 'bout things a few times and it's gotten to the point that I don't know what to tell him any more. I've forgotten where my mistakes began and hers took over, but pride is still in the way. Neither of us wants to admit that we're at fault.

Since I know I'm not gonna get any sleep tonight, again, I wander off to the mess hall in search of somethin' to eat and there she is, sittin' by a window with her knees pulled up to her chest.

I pause for a moment just to look at her; hair down, wearin' that sweat shirt I was looking for the other day as the starlight casts a soft glow over her. I sigh and feel my heart gettin' heavy at the pain she must be feelin'. I know I've been feelin' it and I'm feelin' it still.

"Hey," I say softly, trying not to startle her too much. She stiffens a little, but doesn't turn. "I, ah, I was wonderin' how yer doin'," I say as I walk over to her.

"I'm okay," she says quietly without turning to look at me.

"I'm sorry Hoshi, fer ignorin' ya and getting mad at ya," I say as I pull a chair over to sit on. She turns slowly to look at me.

"I'm sorry, too," she whispers.

"I'd like to try things again," I tell her, hopin' and prayin' she isn't gonna say no.

She smiles a little. "I think I'd like that, too."

I let out the breath I was holding and reach a hand out to brush away the hair that had fallen over her face. "Wanna join me in a midnight kitchen raid?" She unfolds herself and takes my hand.

"Let's go," she says. It always surprises me how quickly we slip back into bein' friends.

"We're not just gonna bounce back to the way things were, are we?" I ask.

She stops and stiffens again as she turns to look at me.

"Not right away," she says. "But they will. I've missed you, Charlie." I grin a little. She never calls me Charlie, but I think I could get used to it. I bring my hands up to cup her face as we study each other for a minute before I give in and kiss her. She pulls away, eventually.

"Are you sure it was only a week?" she asks quietly as I rest my forehead against hers and we catch our breaths.

"Yeah. One week since you said you were angry and one week since we both messed up what should have been simple apologies." She smiles.

"I'm sorry," she says.

"We're both sorry darlin', let's leave it at that," I say with a smile as I kiss her again before leading the way into the kitchen to find that midnight snack.

*****
Trust Me (This is Love)
***

I've looked at this mountain, so many heartaches wide, and I can't help but wonder, where's the other side?

I'll admit that the last few months have been pretty incredible. This time around, things have been so much better. Maybe it's because we decided to look at things for a less lust-filled perspective. Whatever it is, I think I like it.

"I'm surprised you didn't go off with Malcolm and Jon," I say to Trip when he announces that he's coming down to the surface with me. We ended up back at Risa for a while and Archer arranged for every one to get four days of leave.

"And miss a chance to get you alone with me?" he asks with a smile. I shake my head.

"Always the opportunist, aren't you?"

"Always darlin'," he says as he wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me down onto the bed with him.

"Remind me again why we're not just going to lock ourselves in here for four days?" I ask him after he kisses me breathless.

"I've had my heart set on seein' ya in that thing you call a bathing suit and I'm gonna see it," he says. I laugh as I get up and start to pack again.
***
"Hot damn," he says as we walk into one of the nightclubs. I've got to be honest; I doubt he'll be able to even notice anyone else in the bar to flit with tonight.

"Come on," I say as I pull him over to a table. We get drinks quickly and talk for a while.

"Come on," he says this time as he pulls me out onto the dance floor. "I'm gonna show you off tonight." I laugh as he swings me into his arms and we start to dance.

"Let's take off for a bit," I say as the crowd starts to thin out.

"Where to?" he asks as he places his hand on the small of my back and follows me out of the club.

"I know a little place," I say. "It's quiet, out of the way." I lead him up to this little lake I found. The moon casts just enough light to keep things from becoming too dark as I slip off my shoes.

"Where are you goin'?" he asks.

"In," I say as I feel his eyes eating me alive as the dress comes off.

"Better than that suit?" I ask as I slide my naked body into the water.

"Hell yeah," he says as he quickly strips down. I laugh as he trips while trying to get his pants off before his. He finally gets things under control and jumps in.

"What are you laughin' at?" he asks as he surfaces and pulls me out so that he can still touch, but I can't.

"You're so cute when you get all flustered."

"I'm not cute," he says. "I'm manly and rugged." I laugh out loud and he dunks me before pulling me up and against him.

"Not funny," I say as I cough and spit out water.

"Sorry darlin'," he says as he heads to the shallower water. I quickly hook my leg behind his and trip him so he falls and I free myself and swim off.

He pops up, sputtering, and immediately starts coming after me. We goof around a while longer until he finally drags me out when I can't stop shivering. We get back to the hotel and before I even know what's going on, he strips me and dumps me in a warm bath before crawling in behind me.

'So this is the other side,' I think.

"Other side of what?" he asks. Oh, I guess I said that out loud. "The mountain of heartache," I say. He nods and wraps his arms around me.

"That why you didn't wanna 'take the next step'?" he asks. We both know what he means by 'the next step'.

"When a heart is uncertain, it's bound to second guess," I tell him.

"Well it doesn't need to second-guess any more," he says. "Trust me, baby, this is love," he says as he proves it to me.

*****
Morning Song
***

"Let it ring," I tell her as she tries to untangle herself from me. "Let's just go back to sleep."

"But," she starts to say.

"Let the world spin outside our door, yer the only one that I wanna see today," I tell Hoshi as I wrap myself around her to keep her in bed.

She sighs.

"Just a minute," she says as she gets up. I hold my breath a little as she reaches for the communicator, but then she shoves it in one of the drawers before coming back over slowly.

"Hurry, get back in. I'm gettin' cold."

"Don't you like what you see?" she asks as she saunters her way back to the bed, still nude.

"Sure I do," I say. "But it's kinda cold all by my self." she laughs but doesn't come over any faster. When she finally does get over here, she steals a sheet from the bed and wraps it around herself.

"Come on," she says. "It's beautiful outside." I groan and wrap the last sheet around my waist before following her out to the small balcony.

She's already there, sitting on one of the steps with two mugs of something. She hands me one as I sit myself down behind her. She leans back against me and sticks her feet out so the sun will warm them as we watch the streets below come alive.
***
"Where were you two yesterday?" Malcolm asks me the next morning as I walk over to him while Hoshi went off to talk to Liz.

"None of yer business," I say with a bit of a smile.

Truth be told, we only left the bed four times, the coffee on the deck included. Malcolm bows his head and blushes a little and I smile again.

"What about you two?" I ask about him and Liz. "You seem pretty comfortable with each other."

"We are," he says. "It's nice."

"'It's nice'?" I repeat. "What do ya mean nice?"

Malcolm thought about this for a moment. "I really like her. We have fun together," he says.

"That's better," I answer. We both turn as the women laugh and look in our direction. We both swallow hard. "Should we just go back to bed?"

"I think so," he answers as we turn to leave, but the girls catch us and drag us off to be the bag carriers while they shop.

*****
When I'm Sixty-Four
***

"Hey Hosh?"

"What?" I call I as rummage around under my bed for a bag.

"When I get older, losing my hair," he starts.

"What?!?" What I ask as I pop out from under the bed and look at him.

"Many years from now," he finishes quickly.

"Right, anyway . . ." I prompt.

"Will you still be sending me a Valentine? Birthday greetings? Bottle of wine?" I look at him for a moment.

"Why wouldn't I?" He spots me under the bed and comes in and sits on the floor in front of me.

"If I'd been out till quarter to three, would you lock the door?"

"How drunk are you, where have you been and who were you out with?" I ask.

He smiles and keeps going.

"Will you still need me? Will you still feed me? When I'm sixty four?" I'm laughing at this point. "You'll be older too," he tacks on.

"I will not!" I say with a smile as I stand up. "I intend to look like this forever." He smiles.

"Of course you will. Just picture this," he says as he pulls me up off the floor. "I could be handy, mending a fuse when your lights have gone."

"You better be handy with a fuse,"

"And you can knit a sweater by the fireside."

"I hate to break it to you, but I don't know how to knit."

"Sunday morning, we'll go for a ride then do the garden, diggin' the weeds!" he says as he swings me around the room.

"What on earth are you talking about again?" I ask as he keeps going on with this.

"Every summer, we can rent a cottage in the Isle of Wight, if it's not too dear."

"Where's the Isle of Wight?" I ask as I try to get him to sit down.

"Hey, send me a post card, drop me a line, stating point of view. Indicate precisely what you mean to say, yours sincerely, wasting away," I say as I sit him down and really look at him. "What did they give you at that party?" I ask him.

"I dunno, but it was good," he says with a silly little smile. "So, will you still need me? Will you still feed me, when I'm sixty-four?" he asks. I laugh.

"Sure, why not." He smiles up at me. "One condition; no more listening to The Beatles while drinking strange alien alcoholic drinks."

"Sure thing, darlin'."

I sigh and shake my head as he passes out on the bed and starts to snore. I leave the room and silently curse him as I start humming the tune that he just based an entire conversation around.

*****
Marry Me
***

"You know what?" she asks as we wander down the ship's corridor after the movie ends.

"What?"

"I wanna laugh until I cry."

"Why?" I ask as I look at her.

"I've never done it before," Hoshi answers with a shrug.

"Okay. Well, I wanna wake up with you each day til the day that I die," I tell her with a bit of a nod.

"You should be good then," she tells me. She's still sore about me stayin' out all night with Malcolm and Jon last shore leave.

"Hey, ya gotta loosen the lead some times!" I say with a smile.

"Sorry," I add quickly when I see the look on her face. "When we get home, we should head to New Orleans, and watch the parade."

"I love Mardis Gras," she says as she lies down on the bed.

"And take funny pictures and eat jambalaya and drink lemon aid."

"Now you're talkin'," she said with a smile as she pulls me down next to her.

"And then, maybe, before we call it a night, you'll marry me," I say with a bit of a shrug. She looks at me for a moment, trying to figure out if I'm joking or not.

"Are you joking?" she asks.

"Well, maybe we should drive until we get lost and lay in a field while I point out the Southern Cross first. Yer always tellin' me how you can never find it."

"I didn't think you'd remember that," she says with a smile. She studies me for a moment more. "I know that you love me more in a minute than any one could in a life time, but . . . " she trails off as she starts to think about things. I lie down and pull her with me, wrapping my arms around her.

"Remember that time, dancin' in the parking lot," I start.

"While the band played inside," she finishes. "And you swept me off my feet."

"So, baby, marry me," I say again. "Ya got nothin' to lose."

"Charlie, I have a lot to lose," she starts.

"Come on, even Malcolm took the plunge with Liz."

"And if Malcolm jumped off a cliff, would you follow him?"

"Is there water and you at the bottom?" I ask with a smile. She swats at me.

"This is serious Charlie!"

"Is this about you wanting to wait until we get home? 'Cause, I mean, I'll wait, but we don't need no preacher man readin' from the good book."

"I will not be married by a Star Fleet captain," she says as she pokes my chest with her finger. I take her hand in mine and keep going.

"And you don't need no fancy dress!" I hesitate when I see the look on her face. "Because you don't need one! You look absolutely fabulous in anything and everything."

"That's better," she says.

"And there ain't no ceremony full of vows that I took, from the moment I metcha, I have been blessed."

"Honey dripper," she whispers.

"So, we should make a toast," I say as I kiss her. "Here's to you layin' here next to me, until the end of time," I kiss her again.

"They'll be iffy about letting us serve together."

"I'll demand it," I say. "Wherever you are, I wanna be and anything that means anything to ya, means everything to me." She thinks about this for a moment.

"Can we sneak out the back door, while they're throwin' the rice?" she asks.

"Yeah. And they'll talk for weeks, but we're all we need," I say as I roll her under me. "So, if you're free?"

"Marry me," she finishes as she kisses me senseless.

*****

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